Family Guide: Getting Your Aging Parents to Accept Help

As children, it’s difficult seeing our parents age before our eyes. From what was once an easy task gradually requires more effort. And these small changes to their day-to-day activities like maintaining their homes, handling personal care, or managing medical needs, become more apparent as they age. Naturally, having a conversation about getting help can be a sensitive subject as getting them to admit that they need support can evoke feelings of vulnerability or losing independence.

In this guide, we will help you navigate this delicate conversation so your loved ones can receive the support they need.

1. Choose the Right Time and Setting

Timing is crucial when attempting to initiate a conversation about a subject as sensitive as this one. Make sure you and your parents are in a calm, private setting, and not where emotions can run high. Avoid bringing up the topic during stressful moments or family gatherings, as this can trigger feelings of shame. You want to make sure that you and your parents can openly speak without distractions to make them feel comfortable and not ambushed.

According to Child Mind Institute, bringing up difficult topics gradually, rather than waiting for a crisis, can help soften the impact and make them more open to the idea of receiving help.

2. Start with Empathy and Understanding

Before discussing your concerns to your parents, acknowledge the difficult nature of the conversation. Explain to them that these concerns are coming from a place of empathy and respect. Give them assurance that your goal is to enhance their quality of life, and not to take away their independence. Doing otherwise will cause them to become defensive. Start by asking how they’ve been feeling, and if they’ve experienced any difficulties lately—let them express their own thoughts before you offer solutions.

3. Frame It Around Their Well-Being, Not Their Limitations

During the conversation, do not highlight their diminishing abilities. Instead, focus on the benefits of home care or support services for their well-being. Mention that getting help will allow them to continue with their daily activities, maintain their lifestyle, and remain independent.

For example, you can mention how having a home support worker could take care of the more physically demanding tasks, allowing them to conserve energy for activities they enjoy.

4. Introduce the Idea Gradually and Empower Them to Participate

It’s natural that your parents will not like the idea of getting help, so ease into the concept gradually. Start with small services like companionship or home support before suggesting more direct health-related care. The transition will not be easy but you can make it less intimidating than by hiring a full-time caregiver right away.

💡 Another great tip would be exercising the “gentle parenting” style on your parents. Empower them to participate, make them feel like it’s a partnership by giving them time and space to consider their options, having them select the type of help they want (assistance with house chores, meal preparation, or more comprehensive care services) and taking them with you to meet their potential caregivers. Doing so will help them feel more in control, confident, and open to future care if they start to see the benefits.

5. Address Concerns about Privacy and Independence, and Offer Reassurance

The fear of losing privacy and independence will be your parents’ biggest concern so it’s important that when choosing the best care provider for them, consider professional caregivers like Phoenix Companions Inc. who are trained to respect their privacy and preserve their autonomy and dignity. Be prepared to address these concerns and pivot the conversation to home care being a supplement to their daily routines to make life easier, not control their every move.

Throughout the conversation, communicate that they are not alone in the process. Let your parents know that seeking help is a way to ensure they stay safe, comfortable, and independent in their own home.

Finally, treat it like a partnership.

Talking to your aging parents about getting help at home can be a challenging task, but by approaching the conversation with empathy, patience, and compassion, you can guide them towards accepting the support they need. As for you, it’s also crucial that you treat it like a partnership. Do not just offer reassurance in the beginning to get them to accept help, but maintain it. This will help your parents and their caregivers build a long-term relationship.

Why Choose Phoenix Companions Inc.?

If you’re considering professional home care services, Phoenix Companions Inc. is here to help. We understand the importance of maintaining dignity and independence for your loved ones, and our compassionate team is ready to provide tailored care solutions to meet your family's unique needs.

Ready to make this transition smoother for you and your parents? Be one of the first to connect with us and let us be your partner in compassionate care.